I’m at that point where my anxiety is making me feel sick. Sick to the point of throwing up. I’m stressed, constantly anxious and right now, avoiding all responsibilities whilst I listen to old Persian music on repeat (Dariush- Cheshme man).
This also explains my lack of posts on the blog. I hope y’all understand.
I know anxiety is something a lot of people joke about but it’s a really big struggle for me. I’m all about talking to strangers in coffee shops but for some reason, as soon as I’m told to ring the dentist to an appointment, I panic. I sweat and start thinking of what to say and when I hear the beeping tone, my throat clogs up and I forget what I’m even ringing for. I get this same feeling when I have to go to uni. I FORCE myself out of bed. The walk to the station is depressing. The journey on the train is depressing. It’s all depressing. The walk to my class is the worst. I begin to sweat and get nervous and tell myself that I still have time to turn around and walk back.
I hate uni.
What am I going to do if I end up at a job I don’t enjoy? It’s going to be a similar case to my current situation with my course. I pray my anxiety dies this year when my degree is over as I can’t continue like this forever.
We shall see if burrito Lola pops up again in the future when she’s a working burrito.