Rekindling My Friendship With My Blog Again. Maybe.

I’ve missed it here.
For the past week I’ve been re-living high school vicariously through Jenna Hamilton, a fictional character in MTV’s TV series, “Awkward”. Most people probably think the series is lame but I was somehow hooked onto it. I managed to watch 4 seasons in one week. That’s a lot for someone who gets bored of TV series easily and has never been the type of person to indulge 10 seasons in 3 days.

I guess I enjoy the show because I never went to a mixed high school? Or is it because I can relate well with Jenna? I mean we both talk to ourselves a lot and we blog………….It’s most likely because of Matty MicKibben, the hotty of the school who’s character is also the ideal boyfriend of my dreams. I’ve been dreaming about him a lot recently. I mean, com’on! Look at him!
Screen Shot 2016-01-27 at 16.00.35
The show has made me realise I should blog my thoughts more often, like Jenna does. She speaks less, listens more, and writes it all out later. Even though I know some people actually read my blog (you’re all sweet for doing so) I come on here to let out things on my mind. It’s kind of a way for me to speak to myself rather than overthink things. Ok, not completely true. I still overthink everything.

I don’t enjoy conversations with actual people as much as I used to.  I prefer to just tweet things, post on Instagram, reblog on Tumblr and avoid conversations as much as I can. It’s not that I don’t enjoy socialising, I just know what I’m like when I’m stressed out and being alone is the way I deal with it. It feels like I have to use a large part of my energy to talk to people and when I do, they’re hardly ever impressed because I sometimes don’t bother with emojis so they therefore think I’m being a dry chicken or giving them the cold shoulder. So, I don’t bother with them. Even when I do actually want to talk to someone, they think it’s alright to reply days later. No. The conversation is over if you reply to me a day later. How can you be so busy during the day that you have enough time to appear online several times but not reply? Hm, priorities I guess.

There’s also the other factor that I honestly have nothing interesting to talk about at the moment. I don’t go out with my friends much or read up on things or think of topics other than dissertation, graduation and finding a job so I don’t have a lot to say. It seems that people don’t have much to say either. The whole “hey, how are you? What you up to? Hows uni?” messages bore the hell out of me and tend to die out quickly.

So maybe my blog is all I need. Maybe it can keep me sane for the next couple of months or maybe I’ll end up curling up into a burrito and neglecting it again. I’ve got to be more like Jenna and build a better friendship with this. Hm, we’ll see I guess.

Lola x


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